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The Stories That Shape Us: The Wisdom of Our Elders

By Stephen C. Schultz


I had the opportunity to spend some time this week with educational consultant David Altshuler, M.S., in Miami, Florida. David graciously invited me and my colleague, Brent Hall, LMFT, to his home for lunch. It was a pleasure to reconnect.

As our conversation unfolded, we found ourselves discussing family heritage and the stories that shape who we are. We talked about how experiences passed from one generation to the next create a deep sense of identity, belonging, and connection. These stories do more than preserve family history. They remind us where we came from, the values that have sustained our families, and the people whose sacrifices made our own lives possible.

David shared the story of his grandmother, who, as a young teenager, worked outside the home as a secretary for just two dollars a day. Rather than keeping her earnings for herself, she willingly contributed them to help support her family. Her story spoke of humility, responsibility, and a quiet commitment to something greater than herself.

 

His story reminded me of my own family. I have always taken pride in being an Oregonian. My father, grandfather, and great grandfather all worked in the logging industry. As a boy, I grew up listening to stories of logging trucks descending steep mountain switchbacks after losing their brakes, of my father riding in the crummy to work alongside seasoned loggers at just fifteen years of age, and of choker setters whose dangerous work sometimes cost them fingers. I even remember hearing about the skill of "Punking Whistle," a vital and crucial form of communication in the woods that helped keep loggers connected and safe.

Those stories were more than entertaining tales from another era. They quietly shaped my understanding of perseverance, hard work, responsibility, and courage. They created expectations about what it meant to contribute to a family and to take pride in doing difficult work well.

Family stories have a remarkable ability to ground us. They remind us that we are part of something larger than ourselves. During seasons of uncertainty or adversity, those connections can provide stability, perspective, and hope. Knowing where we come from often helps us decide where we want to go. It also strengthens our sense of belonging, an essential ingredient in emotional resilience and healthy family relationships.

Every family has stories worth preserving. Some tell of sacrifice. Others celebrate resilience, faith, humor, adventure, or overcoming hardship. Together, they become the foundation of family culture, shaping values that are often caught as much as they are taught.

What stories of family sacrifice, perseverance, or accomplishment do you remember hearing as a child or teenager? More importantly, what stories are you sharing with your own children and grandchildren today? The stories we tell become part of the legacy we leave behind.



 

 

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