The Interpreted Rock

 By Stephen C. Schultz There is a transition every parent eventually faces that few people talk about honestly. The slow and often painful movement from advocating for your child…to teaching them how to advocate for themselves. At first, it begins naturally. As parents, we speak for our children because they cannot yet speak for themselves. We schedule appointments. We explain emotions they do not yet understand. We intervene at school. We help navigate friendships, conflict, academics, doctors, therapists, coaches, and consequences. This is not weakness. This is parenting. And for parents raising disadvantaged teens or young adults, especially those struggling with mental health challenges, neurodivergence, trauma, chronic illness, or physical health concerns, that role often becomes even more intense. Sometimes advocacy is not optional. It becomes survival. Parents learn medications, treatment plans, educational accommodations, emotional triggers, behavioral patterns, specialist ...

 By Stephen C. Schultz As we once again head into the Holiday Season, it is important to be aware of the impact of the holidays on those we love and care about. The holidays are often described as a time of joy, family, and celebration. But for many, they bring a quieter reality - one marked by stress, loneliness, or the resurfacing of painful memories. For some people, the holidays represent connection and renewal. For others, they stir up what has been lost, what never was, or what once hurt too much to recall. The very things that make the season feel special - music, smells, family gatherings - can also awaken deep emotional undercurrents, especially for those with a history of trauma. Why the Holidays Can Trigger Past Trauma Many people who have experienced trauma - especially early childhood or relational trauma - notice that this season brings unexpected emotional intensity. Science now confirms what survivors have long known: certain times of year can activate implicit ...

 By Stephen C. Schultz Some stories stick with you because they’re beautifully written, but others stay because they make you think differently about life. My daughter Amanda has done both in her contributions to  The Interpreted Rock . From a fresh twist on a classic fairy tale in  Perfectly Wicked , to an insightful look at why bullies shouldn’t get all the attention, to a powerful reflection on  Mental Toughness , her words are equal parts wisdom, warmth, and challenge. You’ll laugh, nod, and maybe see the world a little differently. Come read, and be inspired. As I was reading through my blog the other day, I came across a few articles connected to Amanda. She’s one of those rare souls who’s always seemed older than her years — you know the kind. Driven yet kind, understanding yet grounded, with a quiet maturity that seems to “get it,” whatever it happens to be. As a child, she was both a strong student and a dedicated athlete. She was popular, but never boastfu...

 By Stephen C. Schultz In a previous post I listed some well known self-help books for families. Below are some more books that parents may find helpful as they raise their kids.  Books: Homework, Organization, and Planning Skills (HOPS) Interventions  by Michael Langberg Learning Outside the Lines by Jonathan Mooney and David Cole Late, Lost, and Unprepared by Joyce Cooper-Kahn and Laurie Dietzel Your Memory: How It Works and How To Improve It by Kenneth Higbee . The Work-Smart Academic Planner: Write It Down, Get It Done by Peg Dawson and Richard Guare Smart But Scattered: The Revolutionary “Executive Skills” Approach to Helping Kids Reach Their Potential    by Peg Dawson and Richard Guare Boosting Executive Skills in the Classroom: A Practical Guide for Educators by Joyce Cooper-Kahn and Margaret Foster Websites: Children and Adults with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (CHADD) http://www.chadd.org/ This website was originally created to support ...

By Stephen C. Schultz We’ve all been there—whether in private therapeutic practice, a hospital setting, educational consulting, or residential treatment. At some point, we’ve all worked with a student, patient, or client who is struggling and headed toward a bad outcome. Every therapeutic environment has a percentage of individuals who face significant challenges, despite the resources and effort dedicated to helping them. One of the biggest obstacles for these students is their inability to connect—whether with peers, parents, adults, or authority figures. More importantly, they struggle to connect with themselves in a meaningful and productive way through therapy. Often labeled as “treatment-resistant,” these students frequently move from one program to another, requiring a higher level of clinical care to address their needs effectively. That’s why Oxbow Academy was created. Since 2006, parents and professionals alike have referred to Oxbow as the best-kept secret in specialized ...

By Stephen C. Schultz Transactional Analysis- Ego States Understanding this model will be a valuable piece of information for you as you work with colleagues, parent your children, communicate with your husband or wife and interact with others in your community. These principles will assist you in gaining insight into your own style of behavior and communication. Remember that awareness is the first key to opening the doors of maturation, refinement and growth. In the 1960s a psychological theory became available known as Transactional Analysis. The chief proponent of this new theory was Eric Berne, M.D., an Austrian psychiatrist. Transactional Analysis developed significantly beyond Berne's early theories through the work of others and has continued in its development and practice even to today. Berne recognized that the human personality is made up of three ego states. Each ego state is an entire system of thoughts, feelings and behaviors from which we interact with o...

By Stephen C. Schultz The air was cool and heavy. The smell of stagnant water and the sounds of creatures that inhabit it echoed through the night in an orchestra of unfamiliar and hauntingly eerie sounds. My phone buzzed and I instinctively looked at the number. I stood and excused myself from the others around the table and stepped closer to the water’s edge, acutely aware that I may become a late night snack for an aggressive alligator whose zip code is Tampa Florida. The number was my wife’s. I answered with a simple “Hello”. I felt there must be something wrong. It is unusual for me to get many calls from my wife when I am away on business. Especially when there is a time zone difference and there is a good chance I will be involved in meetings or business dinners. She is fiercely independent, smarter than me and capable beyond measure. So, when she does call, I am confident it’s not going to be small talk. She mentioned that my daughter Emma was at volley...

Guest Blog By Suzy Moon (Editor’s Note: This is an experience that was recently shared with me. I received an email from a colleague of mine. It is heartfelt and raw. It flows from the soul of a mother who is trying, like the rest of us, to make sense of this earthly existence. I share this with permission from my friend and colleague. She only hopes that by sharing this experience, it can help to lighten the burden of another who reads it.) “I have a son who is 24 years old.  He is funny, talented and kind.  He also has autism.  He is a great kid. Earlier this week, I dropped him off at a residential home for high functioning autistic adults. During the orientation, Josh cried for 35 minutes. I don’t remember the last time I saw Josh cry.  I think it has been over 20 years. He’s not emotional like I am.  It broke my heart. I saw some parallels to the parents who bring their kids to our programs.  I know that the time Josh spends at Sce...

By Stephen C. Schultz The smell of onions is strong in the air. Christmas music is playing in the background. The voices of my daughters upstairs are discussing the appropriate application of makeup and how they will do their hair. This is the morning time experience I am living through at this time. My wife is busy in the kitchen making some cheesy broccoli soup for after church today. Two of my daughters are in the bathroom upstairs, laughing, joking and getting ready for church. All the while, the sounds of "Winter Wonderland", "Jingle Bells", "Silent Night" and "Oh Little Town of Bethlehem" are playing in the background. I was having a conversation with my daughter Amanda this morning about an article I read the other day. It discussed how some families are  boycotting giving presents at Christmas. Some parents were mentioning that their children simply had no gratitude anymore. Some families were implementing a Christmas t...

By Stephen C. Schultz With the Holiday Season in full swing, I have personally witnessed the kindness in people as well as some pretty disturbing thoughtless actions. Whether it is total strangers or family members over for a meal, the Holidays tend to bring out the best and the worst in those around us. Why is that? When I see some of the shoppers on “Black Friday”, I would imagine that if I interacted with them in any other setting, they would be personable, kind citizens, neighbors and friends. What happens in that situation? Why do some people get in their car and seem to have a change in personality? Road rage is real. Here are a few thoughts for what they are worth. Below is a list of...what are called...“Thinking Errors”. These are common, automatic thoughts we have throughout any given day. We may be thinking this way and not even be aware of it. They are specific ways we look at the world around us and usually these types of thoughts lead to conflict of so...

Family Letter by Stephen C. Schultz By Stephen C. Schultz This last couple of days has been stressful for a number of reasons. I would like Stephanie, Ryan, and Amanda to share this link with your spouses. Many of the conversations, while well-meaning, have been a combination of "Caring" mixed with "Self-Serving"...this includes me. One thing I know is that we all love each other. So, let’s stop pointing fingers. This is a piece I wrote for my blog that was inspired by an interaction I had with a mother of one of the students enrolled at Oxbow Academy. She was having a hard time seeing her part in the issues surrounding her son being in treatment. This isn't just a mom thing...Dads are equally found blaming others to help themselves feel better about the situation they find themselves in. So, as we enter the Holiday Season, let’s not carry grud...

By Stephen C. Schultz The flames shot up into the air over 15 feet high. Heat scorched my hands and my cheeks as embers rose through the air on endless circular waves of heat. I used the old pitch fork to sift through the ash and scoop up rogue twigs and small sticks that still needed to burn. It was fall time in Eugene, Oregon and the weather was perfect for burning some “slash” piles from the large oak trees that had fallen last winter in an ice storm. I was at my parents home with my 24 year old son. The two of us took a weekend road trip to spend some time with my parents, help with some chores and attend a University of Oregon football game with my brother and his young son. There was nothing very exciting or earth shattering about these three days.  It was simply a father and son spending time in the car having various conversations and sharing insight on numerous topics. Then there was time spent hauling firewood with the tractor and managing the bur...

  By Stephen C. Schultz “The polygraph is not what you think it is. It is not a lie detector machine... there is no such thing as a lie detector machine... and the polygraph is not one.” ~ John Pickup, Polygraph Examiner Over the years, Oxbow Academy has consistently had to answer one question: “Why do you use the polygraph?” To provide an effective answer, it is important to understand the student population at Oxbow Academy. Oxbow works with students who have engaged in Problematic Sexual Behavior (PSB). This behavior can take many forms and affect students in different ways. The one common factor is that it has impacted the student’s life—or the lives of their family members—in a chronically dysfunctional and unhealthy way. The students at Oxbow have often lived a life of secrets and manipulation. Their parents don’t trust them, and they frequently feel trapped in an unhealthy family dynamic. Prior to enrolment at Oxbow, parents and mental health professionals regularly mention ...

By Stephen C. Schultz Having been raised in Eugene, Oregon, I am very familiar with the term evergreen . I grew up exploring the temperate rainforests of Western Oregon. I have spent many nights camping in the rain under cedar, western hemlock, and Douglas fir trees, to name a few. The rhythmic sound of water droplets falling from a hundred-foot tree to the forest floor brings a sense of peace, comfort, and fond memories found nowhere else. Even though I don’t consider myself a professional blogger, over the years, I have become somewhat intrigued by blogging lingo. I regularly hear that “Content is King,” and every once in a while, I come across an article mentioning “Evergreen Content.” Evidently, evergreen content refers to written material that never becomes outdated. I was recently reading through some of my older blog posts and was amazed at how many of them contain timeless subject matter. I may have written an article three years ago—or even five—but the principles remain un...

Stephen C. Schultz The sky was gray, with wispy clouds having just released their moisture. The sun was just starting to peek over the distant horizon and break through the gray fluff. To see these surroundings would have you believe it was a beautiful winter morning. The steam from my breathing wafted upward and created little ice crystals on my eyelashes. The sidewalk was covered in ice that had formed little potholes where people had walked before the snow could be shoveled. I was on my way to class at the local university. As I approached the corner, I heard a clicking sound accompanied by an almost imperceptible whirring. I glanced across the street and saw Trent, a 14-year-old young man, making his way down the street. I was able to wave and catch his eye. I shouted, "Hi Trent! Good to see you this morning!" There was no response. He simply kept making his way down the street with a very determined, focused effort. Some might consider that behavior on Trent's part t...