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Showing posts with the label Adoption

We Were Warned Twenty Years Ago: What We Have Learned About Internet Pornography Since Then

 By Stephen C. Schultz Parents often ask me whether concerns about internet pornography are a relatively new phenomenon. Given the rapid rise of smartphones, social media, and unlimited internet access, it is easy to assume that our understanding has only recently begun to catch up with the technology. The truth is quite different. Long before today's digital world existed, physicians, psychologists, neuroscientists, and addiction researchers were already asking difficult questions about pornography's influence on the brain, relationships, and healthy development. While the internet has changed dramatically over the past twenty years, many of the concerns raised by those early researchers remain remarkably relevant. One historical example stands out. In November 2004, psychiatrist and researcher Dr. Jeffrey Satinover submitted testimony to a United States Senate committee discussing the emerging science surrounding internet pornography and its potential effects on the human bra...

When Systems Don’t Align: Students Fall Through the Cracks

 By Stephen C. Schultz The heat hit me like I was catching a medicine ball in a local gym. There was a breeze, technically. But it felt less like relief and more like someone had pointed my wife's blow dryer in my general direction. When I stepped out of the car, the temperature read 95 degrees, and the humidity seemed to whisper, "Welcome to Dallas. You're definitely not in Utah anymore." Coming from the Intermountain West at roughly 6,000 feet above sea level, I'm accustomed to conversations about shortness of breath because of the elevation. Dallas has its own version of that experience. It took me about five minutes to realize that breathing through humidity is a skill I have yet to master. Truth be told, I really enjoy visiting Dallas. It is a vibrant city with a rich history, wonderful people, and an unmistakable sense of energy. Every visit I've made, builds on the previous visit and gives me another reason to appreciate it. The climate simply reminds...

10 Questions to Ask Before Choosing Treatment for a Teen with Problematic Sexual Behavior (PSB)

By Stephen C. Schultz It was a warm summer day when the call came to my phone. On the other end was the mother of an adopted son. Just days earlier, she had uncovered some deeply concerning and risky problematic sexual behavior. Her voice carried a mix of shock, fear, frustration, disbelief, and embarrassment. She found herself using words and discussing topics she probably never imagined she would speak aloud as a parent. Unfortunately, this is not an unusual call. In fact, these are the conversations I have almost every day. They come from families all across the country. Parents who have been thrust into a reality they never anticipated. Families whose lives have suddenly become filled with questions, uncertainty, and concern for both their child and the people around them. The details may vary, but the emotions are remarkably consistent. "What happened?" "How did we miss this?" "Is my son dangerous?" "Can he get better?" "What do we do n...

When Parenting Shifts From Rescuing to Releasing

 By Stephen C. Schultz There is a transition every parent eventually faces that few people talk about honestly. The slow and often painful movement from advocating for your child…to teaching them how to advocate for themselves. At first, it begins naturally. As parents, we speak for our children because they cannot yet speak for themselves. We schedule appointments. We explain emotions they do not yet understand. We intervene at school. We help navigate friendships, conflict, academics, doctors, therapists, coaches, and consequences. This is not weakness. This is parenting. And for parents raising disadvantaged teens or young adults, especially those struggling with mental health challenges, neurodivergence, trauma, chronic illness, or physical health concerns, that role often becomes even more intense. Sometimes advocacy is not optional. It becomes survival. Parents learn medications, treatment plans, educational accommodations, emotional triggers, behavioral patterns, specialist ...

Beyond Measurement: When Data Meets Real Life

By Stephen C. Schultz In my previous article— Measuring What Matters: Oxbow’s Edge in Treatment Outcomes —I focused on the importance of tracking outcomes. The idea was simple: if we’re not measuring progress, we’re limited in our understanding. But lately, I’ve been thinking about something deeper. Because the reality is, families don’t come to us asking about data. They come to us in the middle of a crisis and family turbulence. A Conversation I Won’t Forget I was speaking with a parent recently who was crying. Her speech was fast and pressured. The questions came rapid-fire, one after another. There was urgency in her voice, but also frustration. At moments, it came across as somewhat confrontational. I listened. I gave her space. After a few minutes, I asked if I could share something about myself. She paused and said, simply, “Sure.” I told her that I’ve been with Oxbow Academy since the beginning. That I’m the father of four grown children. And that my hope was, that we could jus...

The Truth We Avoid Is Often the Treatment We Need

  By Stephen C. Schultz Over the past 30 years in the mental health field, I’ve had the privilege of working with and walking alongside hundreds of families through some very difficult, very personal situations. These are not easy conversations. They rarely are. But if there is one thing I’ve learned that holds true across every diagnosis, every crisis, every level of care, it is this:  Secrets sabotage care.  There’s a moment in almost every conversation about problematic sexual behavior (PSB) where things quietly shift. A parent pauses. A question goes unasked. A detail stays just beneath the surface. Not because you don’t care, but because you care so much . When Not Knowing Feels Safer If you’re a parent walking this road, there’s a very real tension you’ve probably felt: “Do I really want to know everything?” Because knowing can feel overwhelming. It can change how you see your child. It can introduce fears you weren’t ready to carry about safety, about sib...

Your Child Is More Than Their Worst Moment

  By Stephen C. Schultz Life rarely unfolds the way we imagined it would. Everyone eventually encounters a moment in life when the story you thought you were living suddenly changes. Sometimes it changes slowly. Other times it changes all at once. A diagnosis. A mistake. A loss. A decision that carries consequences further than we expected. And in those moments, something subtle but powerful happens. We begin to ask: What does this mean? Not just what happened—but what it says about us, about our future, about our worth. I have come to believe that much of life is shaped not only by the events we experience, but by the meaning we construct around those events. Two people can walk through the same storm and come away with very different interpretations of the rain. One may say, “I can't believe I'm so dumb as to forget my umbrella!” Another may say, “Dang, I forgot my umbrella! This is kind of fun just walking in the rain! I haven't done this since I was a kid, walking to sc...

Finding Meaning: Where Change Actually Happens

  By Stephen C. Schultz I remember a conversation I once had while driving with an educator during visits to residential programs for adolescents. We were discussing which programs seemed to work best with the most complex clinical presentations. After a pause, she said something that stuck with me: “Some programs have a reputation for working with the most clinically complicated students, and that’s not something to shy away from. It’s something to understand.” That comment stayed with me, not because it flattered any particular program, but because it raised deeper questions: Why do certain programs develop that reputation? What actually allows meaningful change to occur with students who present with layered trauma, neurodevelopmental differences, attachment disruptions, and Problematic Sexual Behavior? What kind of treatment truly meets those needs? Those questions are especially relevant when working with adolescents struggling with PSB. These are not students lacking intellig...

The Value of Oxbow Academy’s Evaluation Process

By Stephen C. Schultz Helping Families and Students Find the Right Level of Care At Oxbow Academy, our goal is to help families, schools, and communities understand exactly what kind of support an adolescent needs—and for how long. We work with both neurodiverse and neurotypical students , providing individualized care that meets each student where they are developmentally and emotionally. We also operate a specialized campus for latency-age students (ages 10–13) , designed specifically for younger boys who need a smaller environment, additional structure, and age-appropriate therapeutic support. Our evaluation and treatment process brings clarity, clinical accuracy, and peace of mind. Through structured assessment and real-world observation, we help determine whether a student needs continued residential care or can safely transition to a less restrictive environment. This approach not only supports long-term success but also ensures that families and referral partners use resources ...