The Interpreted Rock

 By Stephen C. Schultz When adolescents feel like passive cargo being shuffled between schools and treatment programs, resistance can become one of the few ways they feel they can regain control. Involving them meaningfully in the enrollment process can begin to change that experience. Rather than feeling that a decision is simply being made for them, they have an opportunity to understand their options, express their concerns, and participate in planning a path forward. At Oxbow Academy, we believe that involving a young man in his own enrollment process is an important first step toward building trust, reducing defensiveness, and developing the personal accountability essential to meaningful clinical progress. Parents and professionals must make decisions based on safety, clinical needs, and available options, but adolescents also deserve to be heard and treated as active participants in their care. Acknowledging the Reality Parents Face This approach may sound a little idealisti...

 By Stephen C. Schultz The thump, thump was unmistakable and annoying all at the same time. With my eyes closed and my head in that fog that only happens as you are coming out of sleep, I was beginning to realize the thumping was the sound of cars on the 10 in Southern California, driving over an uneven crack in the cement. Yes, it was early. Still dark outside. I rolled over and looked at my phone. As is usually the case, my five o'clock alarm was about to go off in about 30 seconds. There was a quick awakening and a sharp focus as I reached for my phone, hoping I could turn the alarm off before I actually had to hear it. I had a reason for being up so early. I was attending a conference in Southern California, but I needed to speak with a family living in the Eastern time zone. Their day was already well underway. Mine was just beginning. I got out of bed, made my way to the small hotel desk, opened my computer, and started preparing for our call. They had a 12-year-old son. Thre...

 By Stephen C. Schultz One of the assumptions we can easily make in behavioral healthcare is that families simply need more information. There are insurance benefits to verify, levels of care to understand, providers to contact, evaluations to schedule, and treatment options to compare. It seems reasonable to believe that if we can explain the process clearly enough, families will know what to do next. After nearly twenty-five years of working with families considering residential treatment, I've found myself looking at that assumption a little differently. The challenge often isn't the complexity of the information. It's the amount of information arriving all at once. By the time many parents contact Oxbow Academy , they have been living with uncertainty, fear, and emotional exhaustion for months, and sometimes years. Many have already navigated outpatient therapy, medication management, school interventions, psychological testing, and countless difficult conversations at ...

 By Stephen C. Schultz Parents often ask me whether concerns about internet pornography are a relatively new phenomenon. Given the rapid rise of smartphones, social media, and unlimited internet access, it is easy to assume that our understanding has only recently begun to catch up with the technology. The truth is quite different. Long before today's digital world existed, physicians, psychologists, neuroscientists, and addiction researchers were already asking difficult questions about pornography's influence on the brain, relationships, and healthy development. While the internet has changed dramatically over the past twenty years, many of the concerns raised by those early researchers remain remarkably relevant. One historical example stands out. In November 2004, psychiatrist and researcher Dr. Jeffrey Satinover submitted testimony to a United States Senate committee discussing the emerging science surrounding internet pornography and its potential effects on the human bra...

 By Stephen C. Schultz The heat hit me like I was catching a medicine ball in a local gym. There was a breeze, technically. But it felt less like relief and more like someone had pointed my wife's blow dryer in my general direction. When I stepped out of the car, the temperature read 95 degrees, and the humidity seemed to whisper, "Welcome to Dallas. You're definitely not in Utah anymore." Coming from the Intermountain West at roughly 6,000 feet above sea level, I'm accustomed to conversations about shortness of breath because of the elevation. Dallas has its own version of that experience. It took me about five minutes to realize that breathing through humidity is a skill I have yet to master. Truth be told, I really enjoy visiting Dallas. It is a vibrant city with a rich history, wonderful people, and an unmistakable sense of energy. Every visit I've made, builds on the previous visit and gives me another reason to appreciate it. The climate simply reminds...

By Stephen C. Schultz It was a warm summer day when the call came to my phone. On the other end was the mother of an adopted son. Just days earlier, she had uncovered some deeply concerning and risky problematic sexual behavior. Her voice carried a mix of shock, fear, frustration, disbelief, and embarrassment. She found herself using words and discussing topics she probably never imagined she would speak aloud as a parent. Unfortunately, this is not an unusual call. In fact, these are the conversations I have almost every day. They come from families all across the country. Parents who have been thrust into a reality they never anticipated. Families whose lives have suddenly become filled with questions, uncertainty, and concern for both their child and the people around them. The details may vary, but the emotions are remarkably consistent. "What happened?" "How did we miss this?" "Is my son dangerous?" "Can he get better?" "What do we do n...

 By Stephen C. Schultz For many families, summer feels like something we spend the entire year reaching toward. No early alarms. No school stress. More freedom. More time together. But for families with teens navigating problematic sexual behavior (PSB), summer can also quietly become one of the most difficult seasons of the year. Because with summer often comes something teenagers rarely know how to manage well on their own. Unstructured time. Late nights. Less supervision. Disrupted routines. Increased screen access. Family vacations. Siblings home all day. Friends coming and going. Boredom. Isolation. Emotional avoidance disguised as “relaxing.” And underneath it all, many teens are carrying far more anxiety, shame, impulsivity, loneliness, and dysregulation than they know how to express in a healthy way. What can look like a carefree summer from the outside can internally feel chaotic for a teen already struggling with boundaries, secrecy, compulsive behavior, or emotional regu...

By Stephen C. Schultz In my previous article— Measuring What Matters: Oxbow’s Edge in Treatment Outcomes —I focused on the importance of tracking outcomes. The idea was simple: if we’re not measuring progress, we’re limited in our understanding. But lately, I’ve been thinking about something deeper. Because the reality is, families don’t come to us asking about data. They come to us in the middle of a crisis and family turbulence. A Conversation I Won’t Forget I was speaking with a parent recently who was crying. Her speech was fast and pressured. The questions came rapid-fire, one after another. There was urgency in her voice, but also frustration. At moments, it came across as somewhat confrontational. I listened. I gave her space. After a few minutes, I asked if I could share something about myself. She paused and said, simply, “Sure.” I told her that I’ve been with Oxbow Academy since the beginning. That I’m the father of four grown children. And that my hope was, that we could jus...

  By Stephen C. Schultz Over the past 30 years in the mental health field, I’ve had the privilege of working with and walking alongside hundreds of families through some very difficult, very personal situations. These are not easy conversations. They rarely are. But if there is one thing I’ve learned that holds true across every diagnosis, every crisis, every level of care, it is this:  Secrets sabotage care.  There’s a moment in almost every conversation about problematic sexual behavior (PSB) where things quietly shift. A parent pauses. A question goes unasked. A detail stays just beneath the surface. Not because you don’t care, but because you care so much . When Not Knowing Feels Safer If you’re a parent walking this road, there’s a very real tension you’ve probably felt: “Do I really want to know everything?” Because knowing can feel overwhelming. It can change how you see your child. It can introduce fears you weren’t ready to carry about safety, about sib...