By Stephen C. Schultz
It was one of those summer days... the kind where you step out of your temperature-controlled car and the heat hits you like a dry sauna. One of those days when you instantly break into a sweat and feel your heartbeat in your forehead. On any other day, I would have made a beeline right back to the comfort of my air-conditioned car! On this day, however, I embraced the heat and started walking toward the lake.
Even with a slight breeze blowing from my right to left, I could still make out the faint sounds of laughter, water splashing, and the distorted syllables of distant conversations. I knew instinctively that the next two days would bring laughter and tears, frustration and joy, disappointment and dignity. You see, this trip to the lake was not about recreation or the opportunity to cool down in the summer heat. Yes, those things did happen, but I was honored to be entering the world of families who had a daughter enrolled at Discovery Ranch South. This was the first day of what is known as The Family Seminar, or “Family Sem” for short.
The Family Seminar is when families from across the globe come to attend a series of family workshops with their daughter. The workshops are hosted and run by the clinical and residential teams at DRS. They are broken into sections with schedules customized for the families. Some families are relatively new to the program, other families are midway through the process, and then there are families who are nearing the end and need help managing their daughter’s transition to a different level of therapeutic involvement.
I was standing outside the fine arts building with some of the families as we waited to enter the family sculpting group. We had recently wrapped up the Art & Music group. In that particular group, I happened to sit next to a young lady with numerous scars on her forearm. That isn't really all that surprising, but seeing it always conjures up the question: why? As we waited outside, we engaged in light conversation during this brief break.
The 12-year-old little sister of one of the students happened to see a small lizard scurrying around the walkway. These lizards tend to be pretty friendly little critters and are used to people being around. The young girl scooted after the lizard and managed to pick it up. She held it gently and showed it to her parents. Some of the other girls came around and wanted to hold it as well. There were conversations about the best way to hold it. Some suggested turning it over and rubbing its belly. Others mentioned that they should put it down and avoid traumatizing it through human handling. There were lots of overlapping comments and conversations that, in the end, didn’t mean much.
The door to the fine arts room opened, and the previous group of families spilled out onto the walkway. The girl with the lizard placed it on the ground. It just stood there, not moving, until one of the families' dogs walked over and started sniffing. The lizard then began to scurry away, with the dog following right behind. The girls shrieked and laughed as the lizard, pursued by the dog, made its way down the sidewalk and across the road. The little lizard was happily on its way to a tuft of grass and sagebrush at the edge of the asphalt. It was no more than six inches from safety when, out of nowhere, a big black crow swooped down, snatched the lizard in its beak, and flew off into the trees.
The girls shrieked again! Parents gasped. Some just stood in silence. There was awkward and strained laughter. However, all of the families simply started moving into the classroom for the next group. You might think there should have been a big process group or discussion about the Circle of Life. There wasn’t. There didn’t need to be. DRS provides opportunities daily for these girls to experience life with horses, newborn calves, and other real-life situations in a rural setting. The girls find passion in their daily activities and embrace perseverance through the rigors of life at DRS. There is a consistent programmatic structure balanced nicely with a nurturing environment. In short, they develop what Angela Duckworth describes as “grit.”
The next group, as previously mentioned, was Family Sculpting. In this activity, each family has a designated person who places each family member in a certain spot on the floor. They can sit, stand, raise their arms, or demonstrate certain facial expressions. Then, like a freeze-frame, the group interprets what the “scene” represents in that family. I had the opportunity to participate with a family who asked me to lie on the floor and represent the father who had passed away. What an honor! What a heartfelt and emotional experience for all involved.
The Family Seminar wrapped up the next day with a few more workshop classes and the Variety Show. The Variety Show is a culmination of the work the girls have done through their participation in the various “clubs” in the program. There were musical numbers, bands performed, and a screenplay written by one of the students was acted out. It wasn’t perfect... it wasn’t polished. It was real. It was heartfelt. It was emotional. There were tears. There was accomplishment. There was risk. There was dignity. There was healing!
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