By Stephen C. Schultz
Over the last 25 years, I have noticed a shift in the youth that
my organization works with and some of the struggles these young people
encounter. What I am seeing is not merely symptomatic of a rebellious teen or
the burdens that accompany a mental illness.
It seems many students and families are headed down a track
with very few options for changing course. What I am sensing is that our society
in general is struggling in many ways. What I see happening with our youth is
symptomatic of larger social ills. In this political season, what I perceive
goes beyond “Republican and Democrat” or “Conservative and Liberal”. What I’m
sensing touches on the very heart of “Identity”; the essence of who we are. It
is the question of who we are as a society and who we are as individuals.
As I work with teens who find themselves involved in
dishonest behavior, unhealthy relationships and “entitled” attitudes there is
one common thread that runs through every family situation. Throughout the
teens stages of childhood and adolescence, these kids have moved away from
life’s tasks that contribute to the development of an “Identity” and they have
slipped into the world of developing an “Image”. It is important to note that
“Image” and “Identity” are two very different things.
As each of us moves into adulthood, it is through the
accomplishment of life’s tasks that we gain competencies. These tasks include mastering
school, work and family relationships. As this mastery happens, we develop a
set of social skills that include determination, courage, honesty, trust,
integrity, insight, loyalty and knowledge. It is through this developmental
process and the practice of these particular skills that an “Identity” is
developed.
“Image” has its foundation based in perception, not
competency. Image is more about how one appears than who they are.
So, as I look at myself, my community and my nation, I
wonder where that tipping point is. Are we a nation of self centered people
only worried about the next “selfie” and our image? Or, are we grounded in a
quiet confidence based on a solid identity?
As I work to develop a healthy sense of identity, I become
less concerned about the image of others as well as myself.
What are your thoughts?
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