Skip to main content

Bullying has simply got to stop!

By Stephen C. Schultz


Many may look at the title of this post and say, “Yeah… right! Like that will ever happen!”

Yes, it is true—bullying, in some form or another, has affected people since the time of Cain and Abel. For those who don’t ascribe to any particular religious worldview, I will simply say that bullying has manifested itself throughout the ages.

Bullying

As a small child of five or six, I had a bully approach me a few times as I rode my bike to school. One time, he took my bike and rode away. Another time, he pushed me into the gutter and started punching me. While it was somewhat traumatic at the time, I had a loving and supportive family who helped me realize that the bully was the one with problems and that I was a courageous, kind, and likable boy.

Bullying may come from kids at school, teens on the internet, or thugs playing the “knockout game.” It takes place in classrooms, playgrounds, sports arenas, and workplaces.

The purpose of this post isn’t to explore the history of bullying or analyze its effects on the one being bullied. I simply wish to share a couple of experiences I have had with bullying, and you can draw your own conclusions.

I find it interesting that, as a society, when we discuss bullying, we talk about it as if it is an entity or force of its own. We describe it as if it exists independently, operating under its own power.

There are organizations set up to fight “bullying.” Money is raised, and programs are created to eliminate it. Schools and communities invest time and resources to discourage it. Politicians and law enforcement agencies enact legislation to punish acts of bullying. These are all noble efforts and causes. However, the solution to bullying begins in the home.

In its simplest form, bullying is merely one person being mean to another. Where better than in the home for children to learn about kindness, compassion, self-worth, empathy, determination, courage, and patience?

Please allow me to share two experiences I have had with bullying. The first happened when I was in elementary school. The second occurred vicariously through my daughter a few years ago.

Lessons I Learned from a Childhood Experience with Bullying

Why Should Bullies Get All the Attention?

I would love to hear your feedback and comments. Have you had experiences with bullying—either as a child or teen, or as the parent of someone who has been bullied?


Labels:
Location: United States

Comments

Joy said…
I was that Ugly Duckling child with rotten teeth, lacking in social skills and the trendy clothes, because my father worked 2-3 blue-collar jobs so we could live in a neighborhood where everyone else was "better" than us. I was always the last pick for teams, often left out and bullied, sometimes even treated ugly by small-minded teachers. In middle school, I was tormented one entire year by two girls who followed me around laughing at me, yelling how ugly I was, and even spitting in my hair. What they did was bad enough, but many others also saw it going on and did nothing. I wish I had the nerve back then to go to somebody about it. Thankfully, I had my faith back then to remind me that I was special to someone more worthy. It did help me to teach my daughter the importance of treating others kindly and fairly, and not making assumptions based on appearances. And I did teach her to speak up to me or somebody else if she was ever bullied. Still, it did leave scars of inadequacy that I still deal with 40 years later.
August 25, 2018 at 11:26 AM
Stephen C. Schultz said…
Thank you Joy. Kindness is so important in so many ways. I appreciate the courage and determination you demonstrated throughout these early struggles with bullying. How insightful you were to exercise Faith in teaching your own children kindness, resilience and self advocacy. I am hopeful others can learn from your sharing of these personal and poignant experiences. Warmest regards.
August 26, 2018 at 11:14 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Rocky Landscape of Teen Sexuality

 By Stephen C. Schultz (Editor's note: This is a very sensitive subject and may be uncomfortable to read. The information in this post is essentially focused on schools and therapeutic programs that have a residential component.) The chairs were all in a half-circle. There must have been over fifty, all filled with students. Banners from various colleges and universities hung from the rafters. The dull roar of multiple conversations, all happening simultaneously, cut through the air and echoed off the walls. I stood in front of the crowd and waited. The conversations and dull roar slowly faded, like a train disappearing into the distance. All eyes were now on me. I asked one question: “Who can tell me what grooming is?” I have spent my career working with families and teens through some very difficult times. I am a partner in a specialty care facility called Oxbow Academy. Oxbow specializes in treating teenage boys from across the globe who are burdened with the socially sensi...
5 comments
Read more

Lessons I learned from a childhood experience with bullying

By Stephen C. Schultz The dew around the window was starting to bead up. In a classic case of chaos theory, the little beads of water gave way to gravity and randomly bounced and bumped their way to the window sill like a steal marble in a pinball game. There was a small pool of water in the cracked and peeling beige paint. I sat facing the window, staring at the small engraved stone nestled in the flower beds. There weren’t many flowers at this time of year. Mostly rhododendrons and Oregon grapes reaching skyward from the damp bark mulch that covered the planter area.   The month of January in Eugene Oregon was filled with days and days of mist and fog.   In fact, pretty much from October through June was filled with fog, rain, mist, showers, freezing rain and occasionally snow. The local weathermen didn’t bother with predictions about the chance of precipitation; they took pride in developing new adjectives to describe the type of precipitation and how much you can...
10 comments
Read more

Teens and Pornography: the Frightening New Addiction

Guest Blogger - Jennifer C. Jones Looking back, *Tom remembers the morning the nightmare began. It was 5:30 a.m. Summer vacation meant his 15-year-old son, *Jason, should be sleeping in. Instead, Tom was surprised to find him at the family computer. He was even more stunned when he saw what his son was doing. “He was looking at porn,” Tom says. Specifically, Jason was watching child pornography. “It was about as hardcore as you could get.” Jason was ashamed and embarrassed and promised his parents he would never do it again. They thought their son was “just curious” and believed him. The family had recently moved and the computer’s filtering system was down. Tom installed a new blocking program and made sure it was working. They were devastated when they discovered their son, on at least two other occasions, had hacked through the system to find porn. In the meantime, Jason was spiraling downward at school. Formerly a straight A student, the teen began failing his accelera...
3 comments
Read more