With three daughters of my own, it’s always a moving
experience to see and listen to teen girls in therapy. I am often saddened by
the emotional struggles that these girls have endured in their short life
times.
Some are forced to deal with grown up problems way too early
through experiences with abuse, trauma, substance use and even self
harm. Many times these issues are complicated with symptoms of depression or anxiety. There is something troubling when a teenage girl has a
hard time seeing a reason to live.
I recall in the early 1990’s, working at a psychiatric
hospital as the admissions and marketing director. I was in my office one
evening and got a call from a local therapist.
This therapist said;
“Hi Steve, I have a female teen, 18 years of age. We were
working through some of her trauma when she asked to use the bathroom. She left
my office and did not come back in to finish her session. I sent my receptionist
in to check on her and she was in the stall cutting her arm with some type of
sharp instrument. We think she still has the instrument in her hand, but she is
dissociating and is keeping her hand clenched. There are numerous superficial
cuts on her arm, but nothing requiring stitches. I would like to have the
parents bring her right over.”
I mentioned that we would be ready when they arrived and
then I notified the nurses on the mental health floor of the situation.
When they arrived, the parents had a shocked look of
concern. They struggled with forced decorum through this heightened emotional
situation. They obviously had suffered through family conflict and turmoil with
their daughter previously, but this event had taken things to a whole new
level. I took this young lady and her parent’s straight back to the nurses’
station to attend, first and foremost, to her arm.
I sat her at a table. She had a glazed look in her eyes and
didn’t seem able to make eye contact. She was softly moaning and rocking back
and forth in the chair. One of the nurses grabbed a wash cloth and started to
clean the blood off her arm. The other nurse started prying her fist open to
retrieve the sharp implement. Tanya, (I still remember her name) clenched her
fist even tighter. The nurse then pried harder, softly encouraging her to let
go of the sharp object. It was so small; I couldn’t see what she was holding. There
was certainly something in her hand because blood started to ooze between her
fingers.
I immediately grabbed another wash cloth and ran to the
sink. I soaked it in hot water and brought it back to the table where the
nurses were frantically trying to get her hand opened. I loosely wadded the
wash cloth into a ball and said;
“Tanya…Tanya…I need you to hold this cloth in your other
hand.”
I then placed the cloth in her other hand and curled her
fingers around the cloth.
I then said;
“Tanya…Tanya…I need you to now squeeze the cloth as hard as
you can. That’s it…squeeze harder…harder…that’s it, harder…harder!”
As Tanya began to squeeze the wash cloth with the warm water
in it, she began to slowly loosen her grip on the sharp instrument. As she
focused on the cloth, and the warm water running down her arm, the nurses were
able to retrieve a small scalpel tip from her clenched hand. (Her father was a veterinarian
and she had obtained one of his small scalpels.)
The nurses then got Tanya cleaned up and settled in a room.
She was able to receive some medication to help her feel more comfortable. I
went back to my office and finished my work as usual…just another “day at the
office”.
While this is a somewhat extreme situation, for the girls
that enter treatment in residential programs around the country, the stress and emotions preceding their stay
are no less emotional. Parents are shocked and concerned that things have
gotten to the point where they need to intervene in their daughter’s life.
Often, with boys acting out at home, parents are happy to
get them out of the house. With girls, it’s a whole different dynamic. There is
certainly frustration on the part of parents, but they also worry about what
will happen to their “little girl” if they send her away!
It has been my experience that when girls buckle down, get real, work hard on
their emotional concerns and learn to trust their judgment and decision making,
they leave treatment on top of the world with an attitude that they can
accomplish anything they set their mind to!
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