Skip to main content

Families, Fun & Teen Frustration

By Stephen C. Schultz

The black asphalt stretched endlessly to the distant horizon. The telephone poles and wires faded into the distance. The white line in the middle of the road flashed like a strobe in the corner of my eye as each fence post pulsed in a rhythmic flow backwards. The sunset glowed through the clouds in bright purple and magenta as the sun reflected off a lake and slowly set to the west. What a beautiful site!

After a long drive, I am writing this post from Oregon where I will be spending time with my family over the 4th of July Holiday. Just like many families from across the country, this is a time for our families to come together and celebrate the freedom we enjoy in this great country of ours! There will be watermelon, hot dogs, hamburgers and potato salad. There will be fireworks, fishing trips and family fun.

While there are websites and blogs that share examples of Holiday activities, food and family festivities, this post will focus on a sad societal concern that is rarely discussed publicly and never done so over a Holiday.




This post is written specifically to educational consultants, private clinicians and other allied health professionals that work with adolescents. Educators and parents may find it helpful as well.

Every year, after a major Holiday, Oxbow Academy has an increase in calls from parents who are in a panic. In the midst of the family commotion that is common around Holidays, it comes to light that there has been some inappropriate sexual touching that takes place among the teenage siblings and or cousins. Parents are in distress, emotions run high and denial leaps to the forefront. An enjoyable family get together is now transformed into finger pointing, raw emotion and fear of what comes next.

I recognize that many educational, medical and therapeutic professionals do not specialize in sexual concerns. I need to mention that there is an emerging population of teens that fall on the autism spectrum that struggle with sexual concerns as well. Over the last six years we have noticed an increase in complicating factors around the teenage sexual development within this population.

The students we receive calls about tend to have poor boundaries. They struggle with social awkwardness and often start to isolate themselves in a world of gaming and pornography. The line between fantasy and reality gets thinner and we have heard from parents firsthand how these individual concerns combine into the perfect storm.

When the compulsive behaviors escalate to the point of sneaking into a neighbor’s home to view pornography or steal underwear, it becomes very uncomfortable for the families very fast. The fear mentioned above is not unfounded! When a neighbor, family member or friend is touched inappropriately, the legal system and social services leap into action like a bull in a china closet.

Please allow me to share some other posts from my blog. I hope you find them helpful.




If you know of a family who is struggling with these concerns, don’t hesitate to contact Oxbow Academy. We are happy to staff a case or simply be a sounding board. If you found this information helpful, please share with a colleague or other professional that might find this topic useful.

Comments

Hi Stephen as usual your post had struck a chord with me, thank you for sharing and for your understanding and forward thinking :-)
Thank you Jaye for your comment and kind words. I always look forward to our interactions!
You are welcome Stephen:-)

Popular posts from this blog

The Young Boy and the Rattlesnake

By Stephen C. Schultz (Editors note: This is a story used in a Wilderness Treatment Program for Young Adults . Many come to this program having struggled with substance abuse and interacting with unsavory friends.)   Many years ago there was a young Native American who lived in the very land you are residing in. He decided to seek wisdom by journeying to the top of Indian Peak. As he approached the base of the mountain he came across a rattlesnake that slithered beside him. The snake coiled as if to strike and the young boy moved back quickly in fear of being struck by the snake’s deadly venom. At that instant the snake spoke to the boy saying, “Don’t be afraid of me, I mean you no harm. I come to you to ask a favor. I see that you are about to traverse to the top of Indian Peak and was hoping that you may be willing to place me in your satchel so that I don’t have to make the long journey alone.” The young boy surprised by the snake’s request quickly responded b

Video Games, Anxiety and ADHD - Free Family Resources

 By Stephen C. Schultz Video Games, Anxiety and ADHD - Is there a common theme? Aloft Transitions Home for Young Adults This is simply a complimentary resource guide for parents of teens and young adults who struggle with ADHD, Anxiety and Gaming. ADHD:   • Russell Barkley,  Taking Charge of ADHD • Hallowell & Ratey,  Delivered from Distraction • Harvey Parker,  The ADD Hyperactivity Workbook for Parents, Teachers, & Kids • Bradley & Giedd,  Yes, Your Teen Is Crazy!: Loving Your Kid Without Losing Your  Mind  • Gurian, Michael,  The Minds of Boys Saving Our Sons from Falling Behind in School and  Life, 2005. • Hanna, Mohab,  Making the Connection: A Parents’ Guide to Medication in AD/HD • www.CHADD.org  (Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder) • www.help4adhd.org • www.aap.org (American Academy of Pediatrics) • www.aacap.org (American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry) Young Adult caring for new baby calf Anxiety: The following websites

An Open Letter to Parents Researching RedCliff Ascent

By Stephen C. Schultz "We will be known forever by the tracks we leave." Having been raised in Oregon, I spent the majority of my childhood and teenage year’s steelhead fishing the coastal waters, climbing the Middle Sister in the Cascade Mountain Range, drifting the McKenzie River and hiking the Pacific Crest Trail.  I have mentioned to friends, family and colleagues on many occasions;   “From a therapeutic standpoint, there is no better place to have a student’s issues manifested quickly than in a wilderness setting.” The question then becomes, “Why do therapeutic issues rise to the surface in an Outdoor Behavioral Healthcare program like RedCliff Ascent ?” Throughout the years of teenage development, most teens spend a lot of time with friends. These friends think the same, dress the same, act the same, listen to the same music and sometimes get into the same types of trouble. Some teens also develop patterns of communication and manipulation