By Stephen C. Schultz
As we enter this Holiday
Season, I hope the Holidays bring meaningful time spent with family and the joy
associated with renewed relationships.
It is sad, but true…every
year RedCliff Ascent has an increase in inquiries around the Holidays. Teens that
tend to be struggling anyway seem to escalate their behavior around the
Holidays for some reason. If you are a parent and find yourself in this
situation, please know that you are not alone.
Adolescents who are
struggling with depression, anxiety, peer relationships or trauma typically
tend to view the world in a very narrow and rigid manner. This really is not a judgment
as much as it is simply stating a fact. It is difficult for them to move beyond
the very ego-centric orientation that they have adopted around their environment
and their relationships. Some would say this is “normal” adolescence complicated
with emotional concerns.
Some adolescents, those
struggling in school or those who tend to act out with anger, maintain a very
guarded view of their relationship with their parents. It is not uncommon for an out-of-control teen
to view his or her parents more as contemporaries rather than acknowledge the
parents have achieved a higher level of experience and wisdom throughout their
lives. Some adolescents blatantly demand
that they be the ones in control of the family dynamic and not their parents. They conceitedly see themselves as peers to
their parents.
We have found that
adolescents tend to be much more receptive to information, instruction and
feedback from adults when they are in a neutral environment and there is no
immediate concern about dominating the interaction with their parents. They
will however, try to maintain control of their situation, often through
immature and impulsive means.
You can read more about how
teens will try to exert influence over their surroundings when they really have
limited life perception here.
An Open Letter to Parents Researching RedCliff Ascent
It is interesting to see how they
use the same techniques and manipulative skills that got them in trouble in the
first place.
The term “out-of-control” conjures up visions of disrespectful, substance
abusing, belligerent, angry adolescents. However, it is equally applicable to
depressed, anxiety ridden teens that may be suffering from ADHD, NLD or Autism
Spectrum Disorder. When teenagers struggle with these clinically complicated
issues, their life does feel out of control in a very real sense.
There is hope for treatment resistant teens!
The above link is a personal experience I had with RedCliff Ascent a few
years ago. I hope you find it helpful. This article discusses the clinical
efforts used to reinsert the adolescent into the appropriate developmental
stage with the family.
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